The Wonderbolts Trio (Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy parody)
by thevacuousindividual
Summary: Wonderbolts Trio, the saviours of Equestria, have saved the country for many years. In this story, will their retirement be over as Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, and Applejack tries to convince them in Manehattan Retirement Homes? Tune in to their adventures! Credits to Hashbro and Nickelodeon; I do not own the characters from both shows.


TV Announcer: Wonderbolts: Agile and Powerful. With the ability to assemble and charge the creatures of the heavens, omniscience, and lightning.

Inquisitor Blaze: By the powers of Celestia and Luna, we Wonderbolts will assemble!

TV Announcer: Inquisitor Blaze, with his associates Unstable Surprise and Thundering Rapidfire, fights for all creatures who live in Equestria, against the forces of evil.

Villain: [holds a baby's lollipop and he spots the tornado] Oh, no! The Tornado of Wonderbolts. [the tornado catches him and the lollipop falls on the baby's tongue]

TV Announcer: Wonderbolts! Champion of the heavens.

Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie: Yay! Champion of the heavens! Woo!

Applejack: Let's keep goin'! [dressed up as Thundering Rapidfire]

Pinkie Pie: [dressed up as Inquisitor Blaze] Come, Unstable Surprise and Thundering Rapidfire. There's evil afoot. Wonderbolts, here we go!

Rainbow Dash: [dressed up as Unstable Surprise] In Luna's name, Inquisitor Blaze. I'm right behind you.

Rainbow Dash: Unstable Surprise, Thundering Rapidfire, and Inquisitor Blaze spot their arch enemy, Nega-Alicorn, up to no good.

Rarity: Pinkie.

Rainbow Dash: You know what this means.

Applejack: Donuts!

Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, and Applejack: Ooohh.

Applejack: By the Power of Heavens. [Applejack bites into the donut]

Pinkie Pie: By the Ideals of Omniscience.

Rainbow Dash: And by the Reckoning of Lightning!

Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, and Applejack: Wonderbolts Trio, unite!

Pinkie Pie: Creatures of the heavens, assemble! [They go into deep thinking] Think... harder... Inquisitor Blaze. [Parasprite swims by] Here they come. [Rarity blows parasprite away]

Rainbow Dash: Celestia, heavens! Nega-Alicorn has become too powerful.

Rarity: [under a tent] What the? Ohh!

Pinkie Pie: If Nega-Alicorn is cut off from sunlight, his dark powers become weak.

Rainbow Dash: Jumping Parasprites, Inquisitor Blaze. He's destroying the shield!

Applejack: Everyone, fall back!

[Cut to Rarity destroying the tent in a fury]

Pinkie Pie: Quick, Unstable Surprise and Thundering Rapidfire, back to the cloud cave.

Rainbow Dash and Applejack: Right, Inquisitor Blaze.

Rarity: [runs to the door and she knocks it hard] YOU FOOLS, open up!

Pinkie Pie: [Rarity continues knocking the door] Nega-Alicorn has found our secret lab.

Applejack: What would the real Inquisitor Blaze do?

Rarity: Why don't you go ask him yourself?

Applejack: Elaborate, you vile fiend.

Rarity: He, Rapidfire, and Surprise live in the retirement home on Manehattan.

Pinkie Pie: Hmm, they must be working undercover.

Applejack: Could be, sugarcube.

Rarity: Yeah... now please leave me alone. I have more dresses to sew for the next year's Grand Galloping Gala.

Rainbow Dash, Applejack, and Pinkie Pie: [Applejack bites into the donut again] Inquisitor Blaze, Thundering Rapid Fire, and Unstable Surprise, reunite! [At the Manehattan Retirement Home]

Pinkie Pie: Excuse me, I know that Blaze is working undercover on an important case, but you think we can see him? Pleeaaaaaase?

Manager Quirky Rouge: Undercover? Yeah... well, I'll see if they can take time from their busy schedule to see you. [Rainbow, Pinkie, and Applejack laughing as they walk in] There they are. Right over there. [Rainbow, Pinkie, and Applejack gasp]

Manager Quirky Rouge: Try not to surprise them.

Pinkie Pie: Rainbow! Can you believe it?

Rainbow Dash: [holding onto Pinkie Pie and Applejack] The Wonderbolts trio in the flesh! [The three walk in front of the TV]

[The trio are watching a show with a jar of mayonnaise shown through the entirety]

Applejack: Ya' favourite, sugarcube.

Blaze: Hey, who are these ponies?

Rapidfire: Uhh, are they here to fix the tv?

Surprise: What do you want?

Pinkie Pie: Are you Inquisitor Blaze, Thundering Rapidfire, and Unstable Surprise?

Surprise: Well, we used to be. But now we're retired.

Rainbow Dash: B-but why? I had a shimmering desire to join the group with three of you! To be one of the members in Wonderbolts ever!

Blaze: We were the Wonderbolts trio, heroes dedicated to purge disgusting villains and enemies looming all over Equestria, but unfortunately, the time has been over for us to perform such heroic acts and performances for the Best Flyer contest. [Blaze puts his walking cane in the chair, sits down, and puts his monocle to his right eye while reading a newspaper entitled: Wonderbolts Have Successfully Won Another Best Flyer Competition]

Rainbow Dash: B-but how? What about the other members? Can I join them?

Surprise: That was 72 long years ago, Rainbow. Unsure for now, fella. New members of Wonderbolts these days have seldom known our legendary legacy in various Best Flyer contests. They never see our statues around Equestria.

Rapidfire: Our chances were over, Rainbow. We are reaching very old age and our wings are too aged to fly. Sorry, we will enjoy the retirement in Manehattan. Heroism is not our crucial priority.

Rainbow Dash: But you can't retire! There's evil afoot.

Blaze: Wha? Evil! Evil! [hanging on a flower] Surprise! Rapid Fire! Don't forget there's evil!

Applejack: Calm down on ya' hooves, Inquisitor Blaze.

Rainbow Dash: All I said that there was evil afoot.

Blaze: Evil! Evil! E...

Rapidfire: Would you please stop saying that?

Blaze: [hanging on a water fountain] Evil! Evil, evil, evil, evil, evil! [water squirts at him] Disgraaace! [Quirky Rouge comes, grabs and throws Rainbow, Pinkie, and Applejack out]

Pinkie Pie: Wow, Inquisitor Blaze, Thundering Rapidfire, and Unstable Suprise.

Rainbow Dash: It's too bad they're old.

Applejack: Don't worry, sugarcube. They'll probably be like that for the rest of their lives.

Pinkie Pie: What do you mean, Dashie and Applejack? Old people are the greatest. They're full of wisdom and experience. [real life captain gives a thumbs up and the Jurassic Park theme plays] The world needs Inquisitor Blaze, Thundering Rapidfire, and Unstable Surprise. Somepony is in trouble, and I won't rest until the Wonderbolts Trio are out of retirement. [fireworks appear]

Rainbow Dash: Ooh! Pretty lights!

[At the Manehattan Retirement Home's cafeteria]

Blaze: To the meatloaf! To the broccoli! Make sure you give extra broccoli to my friend Rapidfire. The boy needs his vitamins.

Cafeterian: Here you go, son. Haha.

Blaze: To the table, away!

Rapidfire: Careful! Don't run!

Surprise: I might trip upon you, Blaze!

Pinkie Pie: Hey, Inquisitor Blaze. [Excitedly] I'm back!

Blaze: Uh, here comes the TV repairman.

Rapidfire: What do you want from us?

Surprise: I hope you will never hop upon from us in excitement, kid.

Pinkie Pie: Hold on. Just let me look at ya. Squeee!!

Blaze: Stay alert, Rapidfire and Surprise. She... she's up to something. I hope she will be exciting us. [Sarcastically smiles]

Rapidfire: Will you cut... the nonsense of sarcasm for now?

Pinkie Pie: Do you remember the time the food supply in Cloudsdale was running low? So you used your powers to create clouds and rainbows that makes things grow six times their size to grow at the cloud gardens. But then the evil Edgar the Mischief swoops down and removes the clouds and shoots all the plants! [jumps onto one of the cafeteria tables where somepony is eating]

Fleetfoot: Have you come from stupid town, filly? [Moves from another table in disgust]

Pinkie Pie: [continues] And he globs onto the Cloud Arena in Canterlot. [puts her mouth on the table] And he starts sucking on the glass.

Surprise: What's your point, kid?

Pinkie Pie: You guys are the greatest heroes of all time, and I think you should come out of retirement! As suggested by my lovely Pinkie, Applejack, and Dashie!

Surprise: Nonsense. Please leave us alone, for now.

Blaze: Listen up, you villains. I wanna eat my meatloaf, so as Rapidfire and Surprise. If you don't get out of here, then by the power invested in me, I now pronounce you man and wife.

Manager Quirky Rouge: [enters the cafeteria] What is going on in here?

Blaze: [points to Pinkie, who stops smiling] You may kiss the bride! [Pinkie gets kicked out and rolls home]

Rainbow Dash: Did you re-unite our heroes?

Applejack: Too bad... They woulda' never leave.

Pinkie Pie: No, Dashie and Applejack, but I'm married. [Back at the retirement home]

Blaze: Up, up, and away. Up, up, and away.

Applejack: [dressed up as a southern belle] Oh, my. This purse is so heavy, dont'cha?

Rainbow Dash: [dressed up as a man] I know, my dear.

Pinkie Pie: [dressed up as a robber] Hold it right there, ma'am. I'll be taking that. [grabs Applejack's purse]

Applejack: [screams] Hay-lp! Hay-lp! Hay-lp!

Rainbow Dash: My friend's purse has been stolen!

Pinkie Pie: It's working. Now, this will be it.

Applejack: [Rapidfire comes over to her] Why, are ya' 'ere to rescue little ol' me?

Rapidfire: [yells at Applejack, ruining her makeup] Pipe down! You could wake Blaze and he's ornery when his nap is disturbed. You could wake Surprise with a surprise.

Pinkie Pie: [approaches Blaze, who is sleeping with his eyes open] Ever alert, Inquisitor Blaze has trained himself to sleep with his eyes open. [approaches Surprise, who is sleeping with one eye open] Unstable Surprise trains himself to sleep with only one eye open.

Blaze: Confound it, get away from her!

Rapidfire: [wakes up] Stop shoutin'! I'm nappin'!

Surprise: [wakes up] What is goin' on, you two?!

Blaze: [close up to his face] It's not me, you ol' coot!

Retired Elderly #1: Yes.

Retired Elderly #2: That's me.

Retired Elderly #3: I'm over here.

Pinkie Pie: Excuse me, Inquisitor Blaze.

Blaze: What do you want?

Rapidfire: This better be good.

Pinkie Pie: This'll cheer you up. We're almost done painting your invisible chariot's carriage. [The invisible carriage is shown almost completely covered in different shades of coloured paint and we also see Applejack smiling while holding a paintbrush with black paint on it.]

Applejack: Don't worry, sugarcubes. We put our cutie marks on here for honourary purposes. [Cutie marks of the three ponies are in the carriage in a pattern]

Rainbow Dash: A good way to commemorate the trio! [Jokingly gestures with the cup and drinks a cider] Refreshing.

Rapidfire: Gah! It's supposed to be invisible! That's it! We gotta end our life of leisure. It's time to come out of retirement. There's evil afoot.

Blaze: Evil! Where is it?

Surprise: There it is! [points at Pinkie, Rainbow, and Applejack] You know what this means? [opens up box with shiny rings]

Blaze: Donuts!

Rapidfire: Oh, brother. Enough donuts for now. [puts ring on Blaze and then the trio put them together, but it doesn't work, so they do it again, but it doesn't work] Say the oath.

Blaze: [in his young voice] Inquisitor Blaze, Thundering Rapidfire, and Unstable Surprise, unite! [they put the rings together, and this time it works] Throw thunderbolts at 'em!

Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, and Applejack: Thunderbolts! [Thundering Rapidfire throws a vortex of wind at Pinkie, but nothing happens]

Rainbow Dash: Hehehehehe.

Rapid Fire: Mumbling horse hooves. It's not working, Blaze.

Surprise: She-she's-she's absorbing it like some kind of evil pony!

Surprise, Rapidfire, and Blaze: Flappin' away! [they spin and encircle themselves as they flap their weary wings around Rainbow, Pinkie, and Applejack]

Rainbow Dash: It's the Tornado of Wonderbolts. [Rainbow, Applejack, and Pinkie cheer as the rainbowy vortex of tornado consumes them]

Blaze: Those fiends. They're actually enjoying it.

Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, and Applejack: Do it again! Do it again! Do it again!

Rapidfire: Now what, Surprise and Rapid Fire? We need help!

Wonderbolt Trio: Creatures of Equestria, unite! [they summon the army of ponies but they are retired so they come slowly]

Rapidfire: Hmm, the creatures of the deep seem to have lost some of their luster.

Blaze: Everypony, attack!

Surprise: For Princess Celestia!

Pinkie Pie: Pinch me, I must be dreaming. [Everypony picks up Rainbow, Pinkie, and Applejack] Mission accomplished, Dashie and Apple.

Rainbow Dash: Yeah, we did it. [The ponies throw them out]

Applejack: Sure thing, sugarcube.

Blaze: I did it. I feel five years younger. Oh, it's good to be back!

Rapidfire: We did it, you ol' coot. [they shake hands]

Blaze: Who are you? [Blaze becomes annoyed]

Surprise: [sighs] I don't know what you guys are doing.

TV Announcer: The New Adventures of Wonderbolts Trio! We join our heroes locked in a battle of wits. [The Wonderbolts trio play Presidents with Quirky, the retirement home's manager.]

[Blaze places a two of clubs on the table, ending the pile from Quirky effectively as Blaze throws his final pair of 8's and becomes the "President". A "President!" pow-bubble appears. Rapidfire replies by placing a triple pair of 3's on the table. "Bum!" appears. Surprise sweats, then places a triple pair of 7's at the table. A "Lucky Seven!" appears. Suddenly the phone rings.]

Blaze: It's the Cloud Telephone! [he holds the phone upside down] What is it, Chief? Uhh, hello? Hello? Hello? Hangs up phone. "HANG UP!" appears] The phone is still broken. Remind me to g-get that fixed. ["SIT!" appears]

Rapidfire: Remind you of what?

Surprise: Remind me of what?

Blaze: Remind me or you of what?

TV Announcer: Will our heroes ever get their phone fixed? Tune in next week and find out.

Rainbow Dash: Wow. That was even better than the old show.

Pinkie Pie: All thanks to you. [Pinkie winks; "WINK!" appears].


End file.
